have a courage(:

If you had any idea how hard it has been to get to THIS point in the blog, I’m not sure that you’d want to keep reading.

Anyway, it’s been a weekend from h*ll.
I’ve really focused on the fact that I made stupid choices in my past ...
and in some ways, ruined my life.
The only good thing about the process is that I fully accept ownership of the fact that I made the wrong, stupid choices.
I’m not blaming anyone else.

Dragging myself over the rocky terrain of the past, I’ve come to the present time.
Am I happy?
No. I’m not sure that I believe that people are happy ...
but I do believe that people can be more contented than I am, in my present state.

So, that made me make the loop around again, thinking of past choices and present situations.

Generally speaking, I think that we make the best possible choice that we can make, at any given time.
So,yes, I was horrendously stupid at times ... but the choices that I actually did make were the best ones for the time, in as far as I could see.

So,that leads me to now. To the present.

I still have choices. In fact, some of the worst of my current life happens when I don’t make any choice at all, except to just ride along with the flow.

I need to start making choices again...and maybe in years to come,
I’ll say "ohhhhhhh, I made such STUPID choices"...
but at least I’ll have tried to do something.
And I’ll have tried to do my best.

What is the single-most important choice for me these days? I chose good health.
I’m not the healthiest individual at present...
but I can take steps to make me much healthier.

When I have better health, I can do other things...
it’s the foundation upon which the future can rest.

So,we try to do our best, even if it sometimes means
we’ve made colossal blunders along the way.
Take ownership of the mistakes (and the successes) ... and keep moving on.

That’s what I have to do.