please go away dear burden .

My body isn't perfect .
I don't walk with confidence .
I get into fights with parents and friends .
Some nights , i rather be myself than out partying .
I cry over the smallest things sometimes .
There are days that i get through with force smile and fake laughs .
Sometimes i try to convince myself that things are okay when they're not .
I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful .
I don't look as good in real life as i do in pictures .
That i some nights that i cry myself to sleep .
I constantly thinks i'm not good enough .
I'm imperfect , but i'm perfectly me .

When you love , you hurt . when you hurt, you hate . when you hate , you try to forget . when you try to forget , you start missing . and when you start missing , you will eventually fall in love again"

Just admit it .

Aku pelik tgh kau nie . Kadang kadang bila kita sedih , surely you will need an accompany to be cry on . Ye lah . Dah orang tengah kusut , mestilah perlukan seseorang untuk di luahkan . Tetapi kau lain . You choose to be mad at me instead of comfort me better . I was being improper emotion on that time and you just keep blow it away . But luckily i manage to heal myself . Nahhh! i am change kan ? kan ? kan ? Tolong lah jangan kusutkan kepala aku apabila aku tengah lagi kusut . Penat lah banyak sangat kena fikir dalam satu masa .

I'm guessing that i'm still can't sleep . At first , i though of posting some video instead of writing . Malas pula nak tulis pagi pagi buta nie . Tapi bila melihat keadaan muka yang agak kusut ini . Terus malu untuk posting video . So , i choose to write .

Kadang kadang aku penat bila bercakap tetapi orang tak faham . Did you understand that ? Nahhh . Bosan betul lah apabila kita kena ulang benda yang sama je . Jangan risau . Aku pasti setiap orang pernah alaminya . Sudahlah . Biarkan sahaja benda itu terbiar macam tu sahaja . Rungkaikan jawapannya sendiri .

Aku sedih apabila melihat keadaan aku sejak akhir akhir ini . Macam pathetic gila je . Kadang kadang aku harap yang aku faham diri aku sendiri tapi nope . Tidak mendatangkan hasil langsung . I was busy with others people but myself ? Just does not even gettin any rest . Nahh ! LIFE IS CRUEL RITE ? Penat menjaga hati orang bila hati orang apabila hati sendiri tak terjaga ? Don't worry i was about to go that topic . Sekarang kita amalkan sikap " MACAM AKU PEDULI ? " itu paling bagus aku pernah lakukan . Tapi still aku masih kalah dalam melaluinya juga . At my record , i could stand it minimum only 24 hours . * sigh *


I miss my childhood memories . I wish i could turned back the time . Bosannya hidup dewasa ini . Banyak sangat responsibilities .

Pernah tak rasa yang korang perlukan sangat sesiapa at that time untuk menangis ? or even someone yang close to you to be cry on ? pernah tak ? Aku pernah . Dan sedang mengalaminya sekarang .But i was lucky that i still have place to spill my mind . Rasa sedih masih ada tetapi at least i speak out kan ? Maybe this is call karma . Nahhhh! i should said it again that i don't believe it with karma . I believe that all the things that happen to us have been written by ALLAH .

Kenapa hidup ini terlampau sukar untuk di tempuhi ? Maybe i should learn how to get through of it kot . Terlampau banyak yang aku rintihkan sedangkan aku perlu perbanyakkan untuk di pelajari bukan untuk dikesali setiapa masa .

Hidup memang palat tapi esok masih ada . kan ? kan ? kan ?

I wish i could stand with that statement lah .
Bayangkan setiap hari pergi kolej , belajar , makan , tidur , bersosial . It was bored kan ? I wish that i can do a new kind of things . Bukan lah perkara yang mendatangkan kemudaratan kepada diri aku tetapi aku cuma perlukan sesuatu untuk melalui dunia ini . Sesuatu yang baru . Fresh . Kawan baru sangat best tetapi kadang - kadang BOSAN . Tak percaya ? cuba lihat kalau korang di letak di sesuatu tempat yang korang berdua je . Dah lah baru kenal , apa nak cakap ? Bosan kan ? kan ? kan ? Same as the old friends . Kalau kita di jumpakan semula . Apa yang ingin di borakkan ? Likeeeeeeeeeeee " weh , kau study mana sekarang ? " lah . Bosan kan . I'm completely sure that everyone pernah dapat soalan macam ini kan ? So, better stick with the cirle of friends yang selalu akan kau jumpa juga nanti . The conclusion is , be nice with everyone . Tapi jangan hipokrit pula . Just being yourself but sometimes , HIPOKRIT is needed . Trust me . You will know how to use it when you get stuck yo it . * sigh *

I've been laughing myself reading all my nonsense post . I should sleep right now . I got morning class tomorrow but it's just like my mind never stop think . lahh . Tidur lah gile . Apa susah ? tutup mata and sleep je lah . Senang kan ? I wish i could do that .

Susah hatinya aku . Bila tengok handphone , lagi susah hati aku di buatnya . Tomorrow is 12 july . How i'm gonna get through of it ? I'm too scare to even look of the future .

I miss them . Homesick . It is better there that here . Too much people i can't even handle here . I miss my bed . My hamster . A walk through the hall at my house . OH MY GOSH . How i miss it . * sadly face *

Nahhhh! I do better get clean my face right now . Maybe i can even dream of something way more interesting than in reality . * sigh *
Sadly ambition kan ? kan ? kan ? Lantak lah . Aku memang suka berkhayal . But not in t he wrong lah bai . Better get clean myself . Bye .

Have you ever feel alone ? Have you ever got sick with your life ? Have someone tell you that life is short . Keep rockin it ? Have you ever get notice that life is short ? Have you gotten knock out on your mind that if you are doing something that you just " THINK " it was right but actually it was wrong ? Have you ever felt that you are so dumb because pretending that you are not knowing the truth . Keep pretending it . stupid dumb ass of you lah .

i just miss you more lately ):

people that we trust is the one of our enemy .

That is the the "WORD" that i should say to you before i know you . I wish i can just spill this word to you now.

Did i miss this frequently ?

Macam nak mati rasanya . haihhh . If killing ourself can gettin more better . i wish it .