I ignore texts . I let the phone ring . I log off Facebook chat . It's nothing personal , but people need to realize sometimes I just don't want to talk .

ELMO puh-leaseeee

Turn back the time

HIGH SCHOOL

It may be hard / annoying /awkward / irritating / etc . But admit it , you're going to miss it when it ends .

AND I MISS IT NOW * sad *

fat fat fat and fat

I feel like i’ve gained ten pounds . I am going to die i can’t believe i got that stupid . I grabbed double burger instead of water . How stupid . I’m a failure at everything . I have to lost almost 20 times weight before the end of semester break . * ergh *

__________________________
Perhaps i will be like this if i keep complaining about my weight ?

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything . They just make the best of everything they have .

Dear the older, wiser, more sophisticated person of myself .

Don’t forget who you are and where you came from . Don’t forget your past , because that’s what made you who you are . Because I believe I will have the chance to become you one day. And I never want to forget any of the pains of growing up .

untuk Jazmin Ramli

Sepatutnya post ni patut tulis lama dah . About a month ago tapi i was too busy that day. Sorry Jazmin * sad face * . Happy 20th birthday Jazmin ! Orang dah nak penghujung 20 tahun dah tapi kau baru nak masuk 20 . * laugh *
Aku doakan yang terbaik untuk kau . (:
Have a good , better life . Be good . Be better (:

_________________
Btw , aku rindu kau juga ! rindu nak gaduh dengan kau . rindu nak hempuk kepala kau . rindu nak gossip dgn kau . * laugh * . imisssyouuuubestfriend :(

Incoming new year .

2011 nak masuk dah . Have you done all the note for 2010 ?

Trust me i know there is plenty of stuff you will never to achieve in a year . Sebab tu lah aku pun tak dapat achieve juga aku punya MAIN goal . ergh ! kinda frustrated .
Relaks lah . esok masih ada . kan kan kan kan kawan kawan ?
h
2010 is the best year i have . There is an emptyness that i filled with my awesomeness activity .
You should try it . I learn how to define friends ? How to judge people ? How to be MORE independent .
Along this year . I have meet many people . There is pros and cons when having a new friend .
You should never trust people easily . I learn it . And i will keep learn it . It's fun when you have been experiencing it .

Aku belajar dan masih lagi belajar (:
Learn more and you will gain more brighter in the future (:
Okay okay . Aku rasa blog aku dah menyimpang jauh dah nie . ngee .
Hellooooooooooooooo! We are talking about new year lah ! * basalah org melayu kan selalu cakap lah lah di setiap akhir bicara *

Tahun ni aku rasa aku kurang tulis blog . Sebab faktor - faktor malas dan malas telah menjadi salah satu sebab blog aku gettin more and more dull . Jangan risau . Aku aku senantiasa menyapu blog aku selepas ni . Tapiiiiiiiiiiiii! itu bukan satu janji tau sebab aku tak boleh berjanji nak tulis selalu sebab aku MALAS . * laugh *

Speaking of 2011 , aku dah nak masuk alam 20teess above dah . tak suka ! Ada button "dislike" tak dekat sini ? HAHA . I hate 20teessss . Tak dapat beli tiket kanak - kanak dah nak pergi zoo negara nanti . * kantoi selalu menyamar kanak - kanak *

________________________________
wish list the end of 2010 :
Hope next year will be more AWESOMENESS !
Hoping to get new phone . * puh-leasee *
Hoping for the better gred for the next semester .
Puh-leasee behave yourself .
Puh-lease listen to people's advice .
Puh-lease listen to your mind not your heart .
Puh-lease be more reasonable people .

enemy

i need a place that i will never meet the same person again and again and i'm HATIN it !
Mind your words . Be good . Silence is the BEST medicine but there is a limit . Be nice . I'm watching .

define me in 3 words ?

define me in 3 words ?

Answer here

I’m going to start writing again.
Real writing, the kind of writing I’m most accompanied with .

Your reflection in the mirror

I put off writing this for so long, but I think it’s about time.

Dear Me,

There are a lot of things I want you to know.

You are not the prettiest girl in the world . Take that fact , accept it , move on . Someone told you so .You’re not the pretties , but you have your days where you look nice , and on those days you should stop and think , “I look pretty today ,” instead of sighing and giving up . You don’t need to be the most gorgeous person to be a happy person . Beauty is in the eye of the beholder . There are people who you are truly beautiful to , and they are the only ones who matter .


I want you to learn to say what you want , when you want . I want you to learn to stop being so shy . You can speak up in class , you should say what you’re thinking when you’re in groups . It’s okay to be quiet . It’s okay to think , and listen . But you shouldn’t be scared of speaking up . People who don’t listen , shouldn’t matter .

Don’t worry too much if your parents don’t seem to be proud of you . they love you , they are proud of you , and they just want the best for you , so when you grow up you’ll be a good person . Don’t get mad about the little things they do that annoy you , but it’s okay if you do because you’re just a teenager .

I want you to know that it’s okay to be scared about the future . It’s okay to be lonely . It’s okay to cry and not know why . It’s okay to want to get fucked up , it’s in all of us . It’s okay to be scared and afraid and nervous . It’s okay to be the quiet person . You’ll meet someone who will love everything about you , and who won’t take everything for granted , who will mean everything they say .

I promise you’ll be okay.

numb

YOU REALLY LOVE HIM , DON'T YOU ?

a simple psychological question
not a single name was mentioned
but someone suddenly came into your mind .
tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok . errrrrrrrrrrrrr

figure it out .

It’s amazing how the perfect person can be right in front of you, but you don’t realize it because you’re too caught up in someone else.

Life is full of suprise .

You hate your life . Is that right? You don’t have a lot of money , your friends talk shit , your parents get on your nerves..YaYa Ya Ya STFU . Are you stupid? Kids in other countries wish they’d have even one dollar, some wish they’d have friends, and the worst is SOME WISH THEY HAD PARENTS . So stop being a little bitch and realize the person inside you .

Past

Maybe we weren't to be together forever . But i thank god daily that he put you in my life and made you mean something to me , everything to me , even if it wasn't forever .

make it possible

Bukan aku malas tapi aku rasa cukup . Bukan aku sengaja tapi aku menjaga hati .
Bukan kau sorang je terluka tapi aku pun sama . Dan sebab tu juga aku jauhkan diri . Malas nak ambil tahu hal bodoh cantu . Yang makan hati aku juga . Bodohnya aku .
Hilang seorang tak bererti hilang semua . Banyak lagi . Jauuhhhhh lagi perjalanan . Dlm setiap perjalanan , aku akan jumpa banyak bonggol . And there is the time you will meet new people . Trust me . Worth it (:

Raya di Ipoh

Sangat sangat sangat best . Tak ada tempat yang lagi best selain your own hometown (:
But sadly it come the end . I have to forget all the fun for a minute and teruskan dengan my study . I NEED MORE RAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! ):

Raya tahun ni mula mula quiet bosan nak mati . But after raya ketiga macam BEST . Awesomeee ! there is nothing that can describe it .

Open house sana sini . And masa tu you will met all your chilhood friends and also all your schoolmate . Awwww . how can i describe it . hmmm . AWESOMEEEEEEEE! haha . That's the only words i can think about it right now .

Thanks KAWAN (:
And and and kepada kawan yang ta berkesempatan nak jumpa , sadly . uhuk3 . I'm sorry :(

Picture untuk di upload . Mood MALAS . sekian terima kasih . HAHA

Raya ke-enam

I'm fully book for 1 week open house . Thank you

teenage grow up

Mood tengah swing nie . Dah lah dapat tahu baju raya sama dengan orang yang aku kenal lah juga . Geram punya pasal terus pergi beli yang baru . grr . Lesap duit raya aku . Tak pe . Raya punya pasal but still raya tahun nie BOSANNNNN ! pffftt !

Raya ke-empat . Pergi lah Jaya jusco . Tengok teenage yang baru nak up . Pergi shopping mall dgn kasut bling bling . Mekap tak nak tebal pula . And and and and by the way . IPOH SUDAH ADA DOMINOS ouhhhh ! CAYALAH ! * clap clap *

Nahhhhh ! tengok IPOH dah maju ouh . Looking forward after this tunggu pula Subway and Cotton On . Please please please . I want cotton on . * begging *





Tahun ni aku dah boleh rasa yang umur aku betul betul dah meningkat . Selalunye aku masih boleh berangan lagi sebab dapat juga duit raya orang hulur hulur TAPIIII! tahun ni macam disaster bagi aku . Markdown terus pungutan duit raya aku ! Haduyaiiiiiii ! cepatlah turun duit dari langit oiiiiiii ! Nasib MEGA SALE habis dah 16 september ni . If tak , lagi lesap lagi lah duit aku . * thankful *

Dah lah Duit kena curi . Orang dah pinjam beratus riban . Ingat nak tolong kawan tapi kena tipu . Lidah berbelit belit . Tak nak bayar pula . Macam nak bankrup aku dibuatnya hanya minta duit aku dekat dia . Lantak kau lah manusia . Duit tak bawa ke kubur pun . hah! itulah ayat yang aku patut fikir dari mula lagi . Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh! ulangan semula ! DUIT TAK BAWA KE KUBUR pun . Kau ambil lah . Hutang hutang nanti akan di kira juga nanti . Bukan aku nak cakap macam aku baik . Tapi itu memang telah tertulis . And and and ! Aku akan ingat sampai bila bila masa kau perlukan duit tu sampai paksa paksa nak masukkan duit tu cepat . And for your information , duit yang kau paksa masukkan tu ialah duit mama aku . Duit yang kau guna untuk bersuka ria , bersenda dia bawah pokok di tepi pantai tu . And terima kasih kerana menggunakan duit itu . Terima kasih juga kepada aku kerana percaya dekat kau . Ingat kau KAWAN aku TAPIIIII! akhirnya kawan makan kawan . haihhhh !

Pengajaran : Don't trust your friends . Even the close one .

Remember when we were young and secrets were fun and silly ? Now we’re all grown up and secrets are plain scary . scary hah ? Slowly you will know why .

August was a okay . I'm looking forward to get through this SEPTEMBER . It's been a tough one maybe .

Moral taken from a month of august : Never lend a big money too TRUSTED friend because they will never paid it . NEVER .

which disney stars AM I ?

Which overrated Disney star are you?
BOLD your characteristic.

Miley Cyrus
I try to act a lot older than I really am .
The name I go by isn’t my birthname .
I’m a brunette .
I post videos on YouTube .
My brother is in a band .
I’ve dated someone longer than a year .
People like to gossip about me .
I love to shop .
I am/use to be a cheerleader .
I love chinese food

Total: 5

Demi Lovato
I’ve known my best friend for a very long time .
I was bullied in school .
I’m Christian .
My favorite store is Forever 21.
I enjoy metal music .
I’ve been home schooled .
I graduated high school early. (Or you are going to.)
I can play the piano and/or guitar.
Musicals = <3
I have a cleft chin.

Total: 1

Selena Gomez
I was named after someone famous .
My mom had me at a young age .
I pretty much only wear Converse .
I’m an only child .
I have some Italian in me .
My hair is naturally curly .
I love science .
Paramore is my favorite band .
I’m from Texas .
I’ve adopted an animal from a shelter.

Total: 1

Jonas Brothers
I like tight pants .
I’m staying “pure” until marriage .
An outfit isn’t complete without some sort of scarf , tie , or bandana .
I have a serious medical condition .
I’m engaged .
I’ve wanted to become a comedian .
Go Yankees!
I only have brothers .
I am/was home schooled .
Family is very important to me .

Total: 2

Ashley Tisdale
My hair is naturally brown .
I’ve bleached my hair blonde .
I have/had a deviated septum .
I’m a very positive role model .
My favorite TV show is Friends .
I don’t understand most sports .
The feeling of Christmas spirit is amazing to me .
People think I’m younger than I am .
I don’t go out and party/club .
I’m down-to-earth.

Total: 2

Zac Efron
I have no desire to get married .
My hair is dark and my eyes are light .
I read manga .
I have a younger brother .
I would rather act , then sing .
I’ve been with my current S-O a very long time .
My appendix has been removed from my body.
I don’t party hard at all .
I’m teaching myself to play an instrument .
Sports are great .

Total: 4
I am: Miley cyrus ! erghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hate it!

malaysia famous word

In Malaysia , if you dont know their names , just call them “ Weh ”
For example: Weh, can you…..bla bla bla ?? Boleh cari dekat tempat lain tak ?

btw , selamat hari merdeka :)

I want to invent a computer monitor where I'm able to put my hand through it and strangle slap other net users . ergh ! pffftttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ! #$%^*&!@$^

Shanghai

Goodbye hey you . Jaga diri . Jangan tinggal puasa weh weh weh weh . * laugh *

Ada puasa tinggal tak tahun ni ?

Apa punya soalan lah . Aku teringat kisah hamba allah ni tanya si gades sorang nie . Tahun ni , puasa penuh tak ? Erk , macam bodoh je soalan tu . Sudah gaharu , cendana pula . Sudah tahu , bertanya pula . Aduyaii . Luckily , that girl just diam and tersenyum je . Mungkinmalas untuk berkata - kata . * sigh *

Ramadhan yang ke 8

For the last few months i've been everything . Depressed , angry , jealous , weak , frustrated , scared , alone , confused , exhausted , sad . But never happy . And it's killing me to wait the day i'm gonna feel happy again . The day when i'm actually gonna smile again

p/s : selamat menyambut bulan ramadhan al - mubarak . Agak terlambat untuk ucap tetapi masih awal lagi kan ?

the first of months .

You ask me why i like you ?
It is something that i can't put into words . Maybe it's because you make me happy most of the time . Maybe it's because you make me happy most of the time . Maybe it's because you know how to keep a conversation with me . Maybe it's because you got me thinking about you before i go to sleep , and after i wake up . Maybe i can be myself around you . Maybe it's because you bring the of me . Maybe it's because i can spend hours on the phone talking about the stupidest things . Maybe it's because i can never get enough of you . Maybe it's just because you are being yourself , and i'm slowly falling for you (:

Every night I stay up past 12 , past 1 , etc . Not because I'm not tired . Not because I want to tweak on these social networking sites . Because I am tired , I want to sleep . But I can't because my mind runs like crazy . It over thinks , over analyzes things that I don't want to think about . So , I purposely keep myself awake and tire myself out so that when I do finally lie in bed , i fall asleep and my thoughts don't keep me up .

dream

woke up at 4 am for no reason than i miss you ..

I just want you to know , that not talking to you everyday is really affecting me in bad way :(

i need a break

It was true

Someday , we'll forget the hurt , the reason we cried and WHO cause us pain . We will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge , but letting things unfold in their own way and own time . After all , what matters is not the first , but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran the race .
So , SMILE , LAUGH , FORGIVE , BELIEVE , and LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN .

i didn't hava a chance to tell you

The perfectionists imperfections

Socially Awkward Situation #1:
You’re in class and you want to cough. Some other guy just coughed, now you have to wait.

Socially Awkward Situation #2:
Someone calls in your direction. You raise your hand to wave. It turns out they weren’t calling you. You casually fake a head-scratch. It’s too late; everyone saw.

Socially Awkward Situation #3:
You sit down on a chair and it makes a fart-like noise. You attempt to make the noise several more times so that everyone knows you didn’t really fart.

Socially Awkward Situation #4:
You hold the door open for one person. Now you have to hold it for everyone behind them; if you let go, they’ll think you’re selfish and un-mannered.

Socially Awkward Situation #5:
Talk to your date while eating. Accidentally spit a tiny bit of food onto them.

Socially Awkward Situation #6:
“Excuse me, do you stock ________?”
But they don’t work there.

Socially Awkward Situation #7:
He goes in for a high-five. You go in for props.

Socially Awkward Situation #8:
Walk into the washroom and the stalls are full; pretend you only came here to wash your hands then leave.

Socially Awkward Situation #9:
You check your phone because you have nothing to say to the conversation.

Socially Awkward Situation #10:
Someone comes online; you say “hey”, they go offline.

Socially Awkward Situation #11:
The person in front is walking slightly slower than you are. You walk at an uncomfortable speed to get past them.

Socially Awkward Situation #12:
Someone you vaguely know is walking in front of you. You maintain distance.

Socially Awkward Situation #13:
You say “hi” to someone. It comes out as a whisper.

Socially Awkward Situation #14:
You fart and sneeze at the same time.

hahaha .

Socially Awkward Situation #9:OMG! alwaysss :))

. I have an immerse jealousy for pretty people .

i don't know how to explain it

But everyday i’ve been feeling more and more alone .
it makes me wonder why i was put on this earth .
i just want to find a reason , and i will never stop looking until i find one.

Sometimes I honestly feel like the ugliest, most selfish, unoriginal and unintelligent girl in the whole wide world. Like everything bad stops at me, and I’m the limit.

Sometimes when you're online in facebook and currently not doing anything , I wonder if you're waiting for me to talk to you but , i'm here waiting for you to talk to me .

make a change

New . fresh . more vibe . And more energy . (:

Am i your burden ? Yes you are . you are HIS burden ( stupid of you )

you should warning me .

Life is cruel . Yet still have some sweetness in it . I prefer salt than sugar . I prefer experience than intelligent . It is more worth it . Lately i've been doing some stupid research for myself . It was ugly things when you know that the worst part of you . Your weekness . I should know it before . I was half dying before because i just didn't realize it . Keep getting stupid everyday i get through the day maybe . * sigh *

Okay . okay . I'm doing way tooooo good right now .
BF ? nahhhhhh! that is the only word i can say .
FRIEND ? errr . did you mean a GOOD friend or a VERY GOOD friend ? * sigh *
still doesn't get it . There is a different between those type of people lah . ( oh ! i'm a malaysian people so, i will keep saying LAH ) * sigh *
see ? see ? I'm getting stupid everyday . My blog getting dull . I should clean it more often right ? right ? * sigh *

Oh! mama ! when i'm gonna grow up and be a women! WHEN LAHHHHHHH ????
I'm soo homesick right now . I miss the smell of my bed , my room . My own bathroom . My new clean clothes that are easy to wash . Oh! how i miss it soooooooo fuckin much ! Can i be back this monday and be back right here on the next month ? * laugh *

Idk what i keep bubbling about in this post . I just following the flow of my head . Right now i keep remembering the songs from metric . erghhhh! How i love HER voice soo much ! Please be my soulmateeeeeeeeeeeeeee ? * desperately *

Just stop it . end

Chuck bass, I can’t believe you died. I actually cried.
But you’re still the hot fuckass sexy seductive womanizer ever.
RIP the sexiest CAST, chuck bass.

august august august .

please go away dear burden .

My body isn't perfect .
I don't walk with confidence .
I get into fights with parents and friends .
Some nights , i rather be myself than out partying .
I cry over the smallest things sometimes .
There are days that i get through with force smile and fake laughs .
Sometimes i try to convince myself that things are okay when they're not .
I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful .
I don't look as good in real life as i do in pictures .
That i some nights that i cry myself to sleep .
I constantly thinks i'm not good enough .
I'm imperfect , but i'm perfectly me .

When you love , you hurt . when you hurt, you hate . when you hate , you try to forget . when you try to forget , you start missing . and when you start missing , you will eventually fall in love again"

Just admit it .

Aku pelik tgh kau nie . Kadang kadang bila kita sedih , surely you will need an accompany to be cry on . Ye lah . Dah orang tengah kusut , mestilah perlukan seseorang untuk di luahkan . Tetapi kau lain . You choose to be mad at me instead of comfort me better . I was being improper emotion on that time and you just keep blow it away . But luckily i manage to heal myself . Nahhh! i am change kan ? kan ? kan ? Tolong lah jangan kusutkan kepala aku apabila aku tengah lagi kusut . Penat lah banyak sangat kena fikir dalam satu masa .

I'm guessing that i'm still can't sleep . At first , i though of posting some video instead of writing . Malas pula nak tulis pagi pagi buta nie . Tapi bila melihat keadaan muka yang agak kusut ini . Terus malu untuk posting video . So , i choose to write .

Kadang kadang aku penat bila bercakap tetapi orang tak faham . Did you understand that ? Nahhh . Bosan betul lah apabila kita kena ulang benda yang sama je . Jangan risau . Aku pasti setiap orang pernah alaminya . Sudahlah . Biarkan sahaja benda itu terbiar macam tu sahaja . Rungkaikan jawapannya sendiri .

Aku sedih apabila melihat keadaan aku sejak akhir akhir ini . Macam pathetic gila je . Kadang kadang aku harap yang aku faham diri aku sendiri tapi nope . Tidak mendatangkan hasil langsung . I was busy with others people but myself ? Just does not even gettin any rest . Nahh ! LIFE IS CRUEL RITE ? Penat menjaga hati orang bila hati orang apabila hati sendiri tak terjaga ? Don't worry i was about to go that topic . Sekarang kita amalkan sikap " MACAM AKU PEDULI ? " itu paling bagus aku pernah lakukan . Tapi still aku masih kalah dalam melaluinya juga . At my record , i could stand it minimum only 24 hours . * sigh *


I miss my childhood memories . I wish i could turned back the time . Bosannya hidup dewasa ini . Banyak sangat responsibilities .

Pernah tak rasa yang korang perlukan sangat sesiapa at that time untuk menangis ? or even someone yang close to you to be cry on ? pernah tak ? Aku pernah . Dan sedang mengalaminya sekarang .But i was lucky that i still have place to spill my mind . Rasa sedih masih ada tetapi at least i speak out kan ? Maybe this is call karma . Nahhhh! i should said it again that i don't believe it with karma . I believe that all the things that happen to us have been written by ALLAH .

Kenapa hidup ini terlampau sukar untuk di tempuhi ? Maybe i should learn how to get through of it kot . Terlampau banyak yang aku rintihkan sedangkan aku perlu perbanyakkan untuk di pelajari bukan untuk dikesali setiapa masa .

Hidup memang palat tapi esok masih ada . kan ? kan ? kan ?

I wish i could stand with that statement lah .
Bayangkan setiap hari pergi kolej , belajar , makan , tidur , bersosial . It was bored kan ? I wish that i can do a new kind of things . Bukan lah perkara yang mendatangkan kemudaratan kepada diri aku tetapi aku cuma perlukan sesuatu untuk melalui dunia ini . Sesuatu yang baru . Fresh . Kawan baru sangat best tetapi kadang - kadang BOSAN . Tak percaya ? cuba lihat kalau korang di letak di sesuatu tempat yang korang berdua je . Dah lah baru kenal , apa nak cakap ? Bosan kan ? kan ? kan ? Same as the old friends . Kalau kita di jumpakan semula . Apa yang ingin di borakkan ? Likeeeeeeeeeeee " weh , kau study mana sekarang ? " lah . Bosan kan . I'm completely sure that everyone pernah dapat soalan macam ini kan ? So, better stick with the cirle of friends yang selalu akan kau jumpa juga nanti . The conclusion is , be nice with everyone . Tapi jangan hipokrit pula . Just being yourself but sometimes , HIPOKRIT is needed . Trust me . You will know how to use it when you get stuck yo it . * sigh *

I've been laughing myself reading all my nonsense post . I should sleep right now . I got morning class tomorrow but it's just like my mind never stop think . lahh . Tidur lah gile . Apa susah ? tutup mata and sleep je lah . Senang kan ? I wish i could do that .

Susah hatinya aku . Bila tengok handphone , lagi susah hati aku di buatnya . Tomorrow is 12 july . How i'm gonna get through of it ? I'm too scare to even look of the future .

I miss them . Homesick . It is better there that here . Too much people i can't even handle here . I miss my bed . My hamster . A walk through the hall at my house . OH MY GOSH . How i miss it . * sadly face *

Nahhhh! I do better get clean my face right now . Maybe i can even dream of something way more interesting than in reality . * sigh *
Sadly ambition kan ? kan ? kan ? Lantak lah . Aku memang suka berkhayal . But not in t he wrong lah bai . Better get clean myself . Bye .

Have you ever feel alone ? Have you ever got sick with your life ? Have someone tell you that life is short . Keep rockin it ? Have you ever get notice that life is short ? Have you gotten knock out on your mind that if you are doing something that you just " THINK " it was right but actually it was wrong ? Have you ever felt that you are so dumb because pretending that you are not knowing the truth . Keep pretending it . stupid dumb ass of you lah .

i just miss you more lately ):

people that we trust is the one of our enemy .

That is the the "WORD" that i should say to you before i know you . I wish i can just spill this word to you now.

Did i miss this frequently ?

Macam nak mati rasanya . haihhh . If killing ourself can gettin more better . i wish it .

i should deactivate you

fragile strength is gone .

Some days , i get such a sick feeling . Everything about my life seems so empty , so meaningless . Each minutes holds something familiar , something I saw yesterday and the day before . Every second seems to drag on , and my heart feels so lonely . I feel so bored with my life and everything in it . The only difference between these days is a few hours of sleepless nights and dreams of how i wish my life could be .

there is the road that i wish i could get through of it

Its still a long journey . I should awake . Please awake ):

I hate how in life you get the test first and the lesson after . It’s awful how it takes something so sad and horrible to make people more cautious about the way they live and the decisions they make . It’s amazing how much this has affected everyone . People say everything happens for a reason and i believe that . But some things you think about and wonder, why? nobody deserves this .

if you could see me now

If i ever push you away , i don't really meant to .
When i tell you i don't want to talk about i , i do . i am looking for the right words .
Give me a minute , and if i can tell you , i will .
I try to be a struggling mix f real and perfect a the same time .
I am working on it .When i get really quiet sometimes , it is because i have too much to say .
I have thought of too many things to tell you all at once . And i don't know what to say first .
I get immaturely jealous of anyone who gets to see you on a daily basis . I miss you really easily bu i also like that we can be APART and we both okay .
Space is good too . I love the way we love some of the same things . And i love how we love entirely different things .
My head is complicated pile of thoughts , and fears , and cravings , and dreams , and this tangled up nostalgia for the past and somehow , the future . I
I am trying and i am one person and i am two hands and i am one .

PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME .

easiest way .

Aku sangat geram dgn kau . And aku tak tahu actually apa yang aku rasa sebenarnya . Sama ada aku marah kan kau atau sedih dgn perangai kau nie . You never think twice before make a decision . Any decision ! Aku sangat marah ! Duit tu bagi kau macam sekeping kertas je kan ? bagus ! buang lah lagi duit tue ! Aku dekat sini sakit sakit keluar masuk hospital sakit sana sini sebab fikirkan macam mana nak dapat duit tapi kau ? Fineeee! Buat apa kau suka ! Aku tak nak amik tahu dah ! Enough dengar apa kau nak cakap . Aku tak nak dengar apa apa pun . ENOUGH WITH THE TALKING ! LEAVE ME ALONE ! Aku frustrated sangat ! Semua benda ! dari satu hal ke satu hal ! stupid dumb ass of me ! I will never realize yang its was to yours . Lantaklah !

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