if you could see me now

If i ever push you away , i don't really meant to .
When i tell you i don't want to talk about i , i do . i am looking for the right words .
Give me a minute , and if i can tell you , i will .
I try to be a struggling mix f real and perfect a the same time .
I am working on it .When i get really quiet sometimes , it is because i have too much to say .
I have thought of too many things to tell you all at once . And i don't know what to say first .
I get immaturely jealous of anyone who gets to see you on a daily basis . I miss you really easily bu i also like that we can be APART and we both okay .
Space is good too . I love the way we love some of the same things . And i love how we love entirely different things .
My head is complicated pile of thoughts , and fears , and cravings , and dreams , and this tangled up nostalgia for the past and somehow , the future . I
I am trying and i am one person and i am two hands and i am one .

PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME .