kosong

Kalau ditanya apa yang aku capai selama empat tahun ?
Aku akan jawab segulung diploma , kenangan dan kebencian .
Itu yang aku dapat capai selama empat tahun itu .

Pendam

Pendam

Pendam

Jalan itu juga yang aku ikut .
Susah nak lupa . Lebih lebih lagi bila ditolak begitu . Tapi itu yang buatkan kita senang untuk bangun . Kata mak , nak seribu daya , tak mahu banyaklah dayanya .
Mak .

Diam

Diam

Diam

Aku cuba bermonolog dengan diri sendiri .

ke-empat

i hate seeing your name on my phone, but being too afraid to text you.
i hate seeing your facebook, and chickening out of writing on your wall.
i hate seeing you in love with someone else right now.
i hate that you’re so far away. i hate that we haven’t talked. i hate a lot about this situation.
but you know what i like?
you.

 

ketiga

I just really miss you . From my head to my toes i ache thinking about you . I see your face every time i close my eyes. The butterflies in my tummy are falling, making my stomach churn . It gets harder and harder to get out of bed each passing day .
I’m tired . The kind of tired that can drive a person mad. the kind of tired that makes your whole body ache .It’s a kind of tired that sleep can’t fix .
You’re the only cure .

But I know it won't happen because you already have someone else .
How easy it could be right ? sigh


On a day like today , when i have nothing to do but think , I end up missing you . I miss looking at your facebook, your instagram , texting you .
I miss talking to you endlessly until i would fall asleep . Even before i fell in love with you, i still loved to talk to you. you always put a smile on my face .
I miss knowing what you were doing .
I miss giving you advice and knowing you were taking it .
I miss a lot about what we had , because we were pretty special .
I’ll never forget you , S .
You really did mean the world to me .
I hope you have a beautiful life filled to the brim with people who love you and I hope one day i’ll get to talk to you again .
love always ,
me .

kedua

"Win The Argument, Lose The Person . Lose The Argument, Win The Person"

Mak : "Cari lelaki yang ada masa susah senang"

Anak : "Dah jumpa, tapi dah hilang"

Mak : "Yang susah senang, selamanya. Selamanya, Win"

Anak : "Ya Mak, ya"

cinta

Kalau orang tanya aku macam mana nak lupakan orang yang kita sayang ?
Aku akan diam tersentak , berfikir dan berfikir sebab logik akal pun susah nak jawab soalan itu . Walau macam mana pun kau cuba untuk lupakan . Susah .
Aku pernah hentak kepala dekat dinding mohon agar hilang ingatan senang lupa semua benda . Paling tidak pun hilang ingatan untuk jangka masa yang pendek pun aku dah bersyukur .
Tapi kena ingat yang itu cuma akan berlaku dalam "Movie" sahaja . Bukan di realiti .
Susah .

Susah .

Susah .

Sepuluh orang tanya aku soalan yang sama dan aku akan jawab "Aku masih tak dapat lupakan dia"
Itu pasti . Mungkin agak bodoh kalau orang pandang aku sebab kau lah yang dibuang , dicampak , dihina dan dipergunakan tapi kau masih dekat situ "mengingati" .
Ingat setiap inci kenangan dan janji yang pernah disulamkan .

Aku ralat .

Still counting

Dear Elmo ,

I know you are reading and catching up every entry . The only thing I want you to know that I try hardly to win your heart back . Even if I feel like I will never get the chance back but there is no wrong in trying right ? To just know that you will always be deep in the heart and someday when I get someone to replace your place dont worry because for all this time you are the only best thing ever happened to me .


Honestly , I miss all about us all about you . And I miss talking to someone which are everything to me . Talk about memories there are a lot of it I cant just describe . Just let it be for you and me . I still got our picture , the birthday present , your message , the train's ticket , the song and anything that reminds me of you .


I just need a thing .


Explain me , why you go ?