i should deactivate you

fragile strength is gone .

Some days , i get such a sick feeling . Everything about my life seems so empty , so meaningless . Each minutes holds something familiar , something I saw yesterday and the day before . Every second seems to drag on , and my heart feels so lonely . I feel so bored with my life and everything in it . The only difference between these days is a few hours of sleepless nights and dreams of how i wish my life could be .

there is the road that i wish i could get through of it

Its still a long journey . I should awake . Please awake ):

I hate how in life you get the test first and the lesson after . It’s awful how it takes something so sad and horrible to make people more cautious about the way they live and the decisions they make . It’s amazing how much this has affected everyone . People say everything happens for a reason and i believe that . But some things you think about and wonder, why? nobody deserves this .

if you could see me now

If i ever push you away , i don't really meant to .
When i tell you i don't want to talk about i , i do . i am looking for the right words .
Give me a minute , and if i can tell you , i will .
I try to be a struggling mix f real and perfect a the same time .
I am working on it .When i get really quiet sometimes , it is because i have too much to say .
I have thought of too many things to tell you all at once . And i don't know what to say first .
I get immaturely jealous of anyone who gets to see you on a daily basis . I miss you really easily bu i also like that we can be APART and we both okay .
Space is good too . I love the way we love some of the same things . And i love how we love entirely different things .
My head is complicated pile of thoughts , and fears , and cravings , and dreams , and this tangled up nostalgia for the past and somehow , the future . I
I am trying and i am one person and i am two hands and i am one .

PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME .

easiest way .

Aku sangat geram dgn kau . And aku tak tahu actually apa yang aku rasa sebenarnya . Sama ada aku marah kan kau atau sedih dgn perangai kau nie . You never think twice before make a decision . Any decision ! Aku sangat marah ! Duit tu bagi kau macam sekeping kertas je kan ? bagus ! buang lah lagi duit tue ! Aku dekat sini sakit sakit keluar masuk hospital sakit sana sini sebab fikirkan macam mana nak dapat duit tapi kau ? Fineeee! Buat apa kau suka ! Aku tak nak amik tahu dah ! Enough dengar apa kau nak cakap . Aku tak nak dengar apa apa pun . ENOUGH WITH THE TALKING ! LEAVE ME ALONE ! Aku frustrated sangat ! Semua benda ! dari satu hal ke satu hal ! stupid dumb ass of me ! I will never realize yang its was to yours . Lantaklah !